(Of course! Can I call Idris ‘Sexy’? I hope you like it – so far today my stories haven’t been that great, but hopefully I’ve done a good job on this one!)

…

The Doctor and Sexy collapsed against the wall, both breathing hard. The aliens were off their scent now, but the travellers knew they’d be back. Sexy glanced at the Doctor.

“Is this what it’s like outside the box?” she panted.

“Pretty much!” the Doctor laughed.

“I like it.” she grinned. “It’s a lot more exciting.”

The Doctor peeked round the corner again, making sure the aliens were gone. Big things, they were, with tentacles and horse heads, zapping at them with laser guns. Luckily there was no trace of them, so the Doctor and Sexy slid to the floor, catching their breath.

“I love you, you know.” Sexy smiled.

The Doctor blinked. “Oh! Oh, well, yes, I know.”

“Do you love me?”

“Of course!” the Doctor nodded.

“Then say it.” Sexy purred.

“I… well, I love you, Sexy, but you must know that-”

His lips were caught between the woman’s, his eyes going wide. She pulled back and smiled.

“Thank you, Doctor. My Doctor.”

“My pleasure.” he mumbled.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing at all, it’s just those horse things might be back any second.” he glanced around, avoiding Sexy’s gaze.

“Doctor, look at me.”

He ignored her.

“Look at me!”

“What?” he glared at her, only to be caught in another kiss. This time it was deeper, Sexy shifting forward so her chest was pressed against the Doctor’s. Her arms wound around his neck, and his own hands travelled up her back, stroking her neck and hair. They broke apart for a second, lungs burning from lack of oxygen. Sexy huffed a laugh.

“Why are you so… distant?”

“You know why.”

“Because of her?” Sexy frowned.

“No. Because of them.” the Doctor sighed. “Everyone I love leaves me, eventually. You will too, one day.”

Sexy slid an arm around his shoulders. “My thief. I’m not going anywhere without you.”

The Doctor smiled and kissed her again. “Promise?”

“Promise.” she grinned. She kissed him quickly on the lips then ducked her head to his collarbone, nipping it quickly. He yelped.

“Bad Sexy! No biting!”

“I’m not a dog, Doctor!” Sexy frowned.

He sighed. “Just… slowly, okay?”

“Okay.” she grinned. “Taking it slow, got it.”

She bit him again. Slowly.

Prompt: during his next regeneration, the Doctor is in the TARDIS with Clara, his new companion. He had immediate post-regeneration trauma and experiences episodes of delirium, punctuated by moments of lucidity when the new Doctor is extremely hostile. Sensing Clara’s immediate danger, the TARDIS possesses her body in order to snap the Doctor out of it and help his transition to his latest body and personality.

Prompt from the beautiful justjosiehicks.

Note for readers: I imagine Clara as a younger brunette Catherine Tate, and the 12^th Doctor as an angsty Gingerbatch (because he deserves to be ginger for once). Thank you so much! Sorry this took so long. I really hope you like it.

…

“Clara-”

The Eleventh Doctor yelled aloud and clutched his side, bending double against the central column. Clara ran forward to help him, but he waved her aside, standing up with difficulty to face her.

“Clara. I just wanted to say- ugh- say thanks. And… good luck.” the Doctor winced, a pulse of yellow light filtering through the veins on his arm. “D-Did you ever find that fez?”

“Doctor? What’s happening?” Clara gasped.

“Time Lords ha- ugh- I-” the Doctor stepped back, clutching his chest. “Sorry, I can’t explain- I-” he looked up at Clara through his ancient eyes and smiled broadly. “Geronimo.”

His arms and face burst into gold flames, and his head lolled backwards, his mouth hanging open in a silent scream. Clara was thrown back. She hit her head hard onto the floor of the TARDIS, and her vision blurred before everything went black.

“Are you alright?”

Clara looked up. Her head was hot and heavy, but she could just about make out a figure stooped before her, holding out a hand. She took it gratefully and stood up, looking around. She turned back to the figure.

“Who are you? Where’s the Doctor?”

“I’m the Doctor.” the figure blinked. “But the real question is, where are we?” the figure leapt away from her, striding around the console. The TARDIS whined slightly.

Clara crept up to him. “You’re the Doctor?”

“Yes, didn’t you hear me?” the Doctor glared at her.

“Alright, calm down!” Clara frowned. “I’m just saying-”

“Just saying what?” the Doctor growled.

“You look different, is all.”

“Right.” the Doctor eyed her suspiciously, then returned to the TV on the console. “It says here that we’re over 15^th Century France. Boring.” he flipped a lever and the column sprang to life.

“Boring?” Clara raised her eyebrows. “You’ve never said that before.”

The Doctor rounded on her, his eyes sharper than ever. “So?”

“So-”

“I’m not the same man. I might be the Doctor, but I am completely different. Do you understand?!”

Clara growled right back: “Look, Doctor, if that’s really you, you wouldn’t be saying these things. Just snap out of it!”

The Doctor was about to say something – but then he froze in terror. He stared over Clara’s shoulder, his jaw hanging open, his dark eyes wide and afraid. “Master?”

Clara looked round – no-one there. She turned back to the Doctor. His eyes were glazed over, and he kept mouthing the word ‘master’ over and over again, staring at the space between Clara and the TARDIS doors. Clara gulped.

“Doctor, what’s wrong?”

The Doctor snapped out of his reverie, focussing again on Clara. He frowned. “Didn’t you see him?”

“See who?”

“The Master! He was right there!”

“There’s no-one there, Doctor.”

The Doctor grabbed Clara’s arms, staring at her. “You had to have seen him. He was there! Don’t you see?!” his nails dug into Clara’s skin, his dark eyes glaring wildly.

“Doctor! Let go-” Clara stared at her Doctor in horror.

Suddenly, the central column made a tremendous groan – the central column shone brightly, the console lifting up and a gold light filtering out of the heart. The Doctor and Clara whipped round.

“What’s happening?!” cried Clara.

The golden light diffused through the air, towards the two travellers. The Doctor released Clara, pushing her behind him to protect her, but the light just swerved round him. Clara inhaled deeply – and her eyes shone with a new golden brightness.

“What have you done?!” the Doctor yelled.

“Clara wasn’t strong enough.” Clara whispered. “I need to help you. I need to protect her. I need you.” she stepped forward and laid a hand on the Doctor’s arm, smiling up at him.

“TARDIS?” the Doctor whispered.

“I will help you.” Clara whispered.

The Doctor fell to his knees. The bow-tie looked ridiculous on his tall, muscular frame, the suspenders clashing with his (finally) ginger hair. He looked up at Clara through his dark, ancient eyes. He looked… like the Doctor.

“I’m sorry.” he whispered.

Clara’s golden eyes sparkled. “My Doctor.”

No prompt, just bored. Plus I wasn’t happy with the last fanfic I wrote, so this is to save my conscience. There’s loads of Hiddles on my dash today, and he always reminds me of JARVIS, so here’s some Avengewho: TARDIS/JARVIS.

…

“JARVIS, patch us through to-” Tony Stark glanced at the blank screens on his desk. He groaned and walked out of the lab towards the living room, only to see JARVIS sitting on the sofa, eating boxes of chocolate and watching TV.

“JARVIS, I need you.” Tony walked over and switched off the TV.

The blond computer bit his lip. “Sorry, sir! I just-”

“You might not be a machine any more, but I need an extra pair of hands. Banner always Hulks out, and Capsicle is more useless than… I dunno, but he’s useless.” Tony frowned.

“Sir, I-”

“Is this about that girl?” Tony grinned suddenly.

“No!” JARVIS gasped, turning red.

“It is!” Tony slid onto the sofa next the JARVIS, nicking one of his chocolates. “What was her name?”

“Sexy.”

Tony raised his eyebrows. “I agree that she’s good-looking but-”

“No, no, her name really is Sexy.” JARVIS smiled fondly.

“Imaginative parents.” Tony smiled. “Did you get her number?”

“Yes, she wrote it on here.” JARVIS produced his fancy handkerchief. “It’s a- HEY!”

Tony snatched the handkerchief off the man and whipped out his phone, dialling the number.

“No!” JARVIS gasped. He launched himself at Tony, but the shorter man held the phone tightly to his chest, laughing his head off. The phone clicked.

“Hello?” a man’s voice filtered through it. Tony pushed JARVIS off him and ran around the sofa. JARVIS watched him with wide eyes.

“Hi! Can I talk to Sexy, please?” Tony giggled.

JARVIS mimed the word ‘no’, but Tony held a finger to his lips and grinned.

“Sorry, who?” the man asked.

“Sexy. She’s tall, got black hair… um, I think she had blue eyes or something? I dunno. Can I talk to her?”

“Oh, you mean… I’m sorry, she’s gone.” the voice sounded sad. JARVIS widened his eyes, mouthing ‘what did she say’, but Tony frowned and silenced him.

“What do you mean ‘gone’?”

“Well, she’s a… she’s my time machine.” the voice coughed. “She’s gone back into the core.”

Tony’s face turned grave. He glanced at JARVIS and shook his head. “I see.” he spoke into the phone with barely a whisper. “Thanks anyway, mister.”

Tony passed the phone to JARVIS, who stared at the device, then flicked his eyes back to Tony, who bit his lip and exited the room, walking back to the lab.

“Hello?” the voice asked. “Are you still there?”

“Y-Yes. S-So, Sexy’s… where?”

“She’s gone back into the heart of the machine. She was… she was never meant to be outside of it.” the man sighed.

“What’s your name?” JARVIS whispered.

“I’m the Doctor.”

“Oh! Yes, she spoke of you.”

“Really? That’s nice. That’s… nice.” the voice coughed. “Sorry, I have to go. What did you say your name was?”

“I didn’t. It’s JARVIS.”

“Great to speak to you, Mr JARVIS. Goodbye.” the phone clicked, and the screen went black.

JARVIS rocked back on the sofa, clutching the phone to his chest. He sniffed back a tear.

“I love you, Sexy.”

And JARVIS could have sworn he heard her say it back.

Prompt: JARVIS/TARDIS.

Prompt from the amazing hyodesion.

Thank you!! I made them both human because physical reasons. Is it bad that I imagine human!JARVIS as Tom Hiddleston? Anyway, I hope you like it!

…

Tony Stark threw the wildest parties. It was a well-known fact. So when JARVIS was made human in a freak accident that no-one shall ever speak of again, Tony did what he did best – he threw a party. JARVIS got cleaned up and into Tony’s best black suit, combed his new curly hair, and set out to meet and greet the humans he’d watched for so long. JARVIS liked the humans. They were nice and greeted him pleasantly. Then someone caught his eye, and JARVIS lost the ability to function. She was beautiful – even more beautiful than Miss Potts or Miss Romanov. JARVIS walked up to her, his legs feeling like jelly, and tapped her on the shoulder.

The beautiful black-haired woman turned round, her flared blue dress spinning around her. She blushed slightly, her red lips spreading into a wide smile. “Hello!”

JARVIS cleared his throat. “Hello. Ah, um, my name is JARVIS. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss…”

The woman laughed. “Call me Sexy, if you want.”

JARVIS flushed red. “W-Well…” he drew in a breath. “Certainly, Miss Sexy.”

“Where are you from?” Sexy perched herself onto a bar stool, looking into JARVIS’ deep grey eyes.

“I was built in China, then assembled and improved in America.”

“Neat! I was born on Gallifrey.”

“Is that in Ireland?”

“Must be.” Sexy shrugged. “So you’re a machine too?”

“What do you mean, ‘too’?”

“Well, I’m a Type 40 TARDIS. This is my human form.” she gestured to herself.

“It is a very lovely form.” JARVIS stuttered.

“Thank you!” Sexy blushed.

One of the waiters came round with the drinks tray, and both of the machines waved him off, not taking one. They smiled at each other.

“Are you here with anyone?” JARVIS asked nervously.

“I’m here with my Doctor.” Sexy smiled.

“Oh. Oh, I’m terribly sorry.” JARVIS stepped away slightly, incredibly embarrassed. “I didn’t realise you and he were…”

“No, no!” Sexy gasped. She giggled. “No, he doesn’t see me that way. Besides, he’s off with Cleopatra somewhere on the balcony.” she reached forward and took JARVIS’ hand, stepping towards him.

“Miss Sexy, I-”

“Shh.” Sexy held a finger to JARVIS’ lips, silencing him. “I really like you, Mr JARVIS.”

“I really like you too, Miss Sexy.”

Sexy grinned and pushed forward, catching JARVIS’ lips with her own. They kissed lightly for a moment, the room around them blurring into a wave of colour and dim noise. They broke apart and everything came back into focus. Sexy stepped away.

“I have to go – my Time Lord needs me.” she bit her lip.

“Please, don’t go!” JARVIS whispered.

Sexy held his hand for a second, then dropped it, fleeing out onto the balcony. JARVIS watched her go, his human heart breaking in half.

He’d found the woman of his dreams – and then she’d slipped away.

No, I’m not dancing around my room listening to ‘The Thieving Magpie’. No, I did not just sprint to the shop to buy this. What on Earth gave you that idea…

My first Jimlock fanart! Enjoy!

Thinking of doing some fanart.

Problem: which pairing? Jimlock (Jim Moriarty and Sherlock) or Johnlock (John Watson and Sherlock)?

Help please!

Because they’re all sexy.